Bumbling Bumble Chats Reveal The Funny Side of Dates (Or Looking For Them)By Anglina Roberts
Marriage has been steeply declining in recent years, even dropping to its lowest level in America during the 21st Century. Is the meaning of marriage, especially from the religious and cultural perspective, losing its relevance in the modern world? At least we can say that more people are trying to put off regular dates nowadays.
It makes sense, with all the responsibilities and obligations of building a career, the pressures of making a mark in life, and the fighting for financial stability. Nowadays, nobody has time to go on dates to find Mr. or Ms. Right. But thanks to the Internet, people have found ways to connect even with a hectic schedule. These texts shed a little light on this new way of meeting people—as unwieldy, tragic, and as comical as it can be.
The recipient of this query must have thought long and hard about her answer. Surely, she doesn’t think her looks have something to do with her singlehood for the past couple of years. And she seems friendly and polite enough to respond gracefully to such a personal question.
Her non-attachment can only be explained through superstition—if you ask her. She’s entered a world of broken mirrors that trap souls, black cats that bring bad luck, and now, a chain mail curse that keeps skeptical people single.
The Friendliest Approach
It’s obvious that she isn’t the newest member of this dating app, given that she seems to have had her fair share of awkward introductions to other users. Of course, the key to a successful first impression is to keep it simple, create a relaxed atmosphere, and keep the conversation flowing as soon as it starts.
What better way to achieve this quickly than to pretend you already know each other? Apparently, the trick makes for a successful jumpstart. But then it takes a bumbling turn immediately afterward, and then it gets weird. Back to square one!
Warming Up To Romance
It’s hard to disagree with this lady’s point of view, at least with our interpretation of it. People have to be sensitive to each other so relationships can work. What’s a better test of sensitivity than finding the ideal household temperature?
The small things count, like knowing when to be there for someone and, conversely, knowing when to respect one’s privacy and give personal space. It’s about keeping the right atmosphere, making sure the thermostat setting is set right, the air conditioner filter is rid of dirt, and the dishes are clean for at least two days out of seven.
Matt, like many men, has developed a coy tactic to attract a lady’s attention. He knows that pets work wonders as lady magnets, but perhaps Matt was too crafty for his own good in this case, as his special furry lure seems to have backfired.
Unfortunately, this gal wasn’t impressed with his strategy and called him out, stopping him in his tracks and putting an end to the conversation (or so it seems). Poor Matt needs to market himself differently next time—or at least post a selfie with a dog he actually owns.
These two lovelorn creatures are probably too old or too tired of going on endlessly disappointing dates to feel inspired by the thrill of flirting via text anymore. So much so that they decided to go about their first introductions by exchanging generic responses.
However, it actually turns out to be funny, at least from an outsider’s point of view. This show of self-awareness and maturity could point the way to a relationship that might eventually work out. Maybe, maybe not. But after all, life is strange and full of surprises.
Judging a Man by What He Wears
Everyone knows that outside-the-house crocs are a fashion faux pas. It’s not about the footwear’s aesthetic properties, per se, but what they say about the wearer. People should dress up appropriately for a special occasion like a first date. This guy’s would-be partner breaks the appointment without a second thought after hearing about her date’s unfortunate footwear.
It may seem superficial, but it’s hard to blame someone for reacting that way. Those kinds of half-shoes, half-sandals reflect a lack of effort and laziness, and in most settings beyond the backyard, they should be considered inappropriate.
There Is No Try
A potential date should focus on exploring what’s behind their match’s clever, dressed-to-impress online persona. Users should gather what they can on a person’s style, character, and general outlook to assess if they are worth dating or just a waste of time.
In this scenario, a typo can conjure the image of a certain small, green Jedi—Master Yoda himself. He’s wrinkly and old, but he’s cute, and we love him. How could you not? You sure do meet a whole bunch of strange characters when you experiment with online dating.
Unlike in the pre-internet years, when people had to put in some effort to know a person before asking them out, people now slip into other people’s DMs with quips and witty remarks, pouring compliments on them, hoping to win a chance for a date.
It seems that this guy would say anything to make her feel good, even if she looked like a tropical fruit with spikey green spines for hair. At least this gal is pleased and feels justified in redeeming her sense of fashion.
A Brewing Relationship
Unlike most of the other exchanges here, which are top-heavy right at the outset and on the verge of toppling over, this wit-tea conversation smells of rich brew, worthy of a first future date in a nice, well-lit cafe. Even at a glance, it is easy to tell that their relationship has some steam.
Nothing seems forced, despite the mutual effort to outdo the other in jest. Maybe true love can be found online through the sharing of tea-related puns in the digitized sphere of dating apps. We won’t be surprised if this conversation stirs sweet in a minute or two.
Love Thy Neighbor
These two lovebirds have the opportunity to act on the bible’s advice to “love thy neighbor,” albeit in an unconventional way. Should they go for it? It’s funny how they might have been living around the same corner for some time without getting the chance to meet face to face.
It’s a typical modern-day scenario of people spending more time in the virtual world rather than in real life. This opens up an opportunity for them to create something real offline, with real-world consequences beyond the screen and all the face filters and algorithms.
Home Away From Home
Imagine the number of photographs one can take around Ikea, with its numerous furniture arrangements, house design models, elaborate walls, and streaks of chrome and silver in the kitchen corner—if only to fabricate an impressive profile pic for a dating app. It’s really hard to tell what’s genuine on the Internet.
But in fairness, there seems to be no intention to deceive here, and the outcome of their back and forth was hilarious. People always take pictures of themselves inside the john, so why not in a place like Ikea?
To be an over-analyzer—a painful overthinker—is quite the burden. There is always a feeling of suspicion, as though the sky is about to fall at any moment. There’s a feeling that deeper meaning hides behind even the most simple questions—such as one about a Monopoly piece.
It would probably take time before the invisible walls of distrust could be taken down before these two end up together. If you’re like this person and you enjoy getting into really deep conversations—don’t give up hope. Other people like you exist in the world. But maybe don’t open up all your conversations as this guy did.
First dates are crucial—what happens there determines whether the relationship is worth pursuing. At a restaurant table, for example, first daters are most keen, watching out for possible similarities, clean financial, social, or hygiene habits, and red flags.
Had they both not rescheduled their first date, the second date would have likely been dead in the water. Isn’t it nice that in this day and age, we’re able to be open and honest about these kinds of things? It makes everything so much less complicated.
Despite living in an age of wondrous technology, some people like to approach online dating with an old-school touch. In this case, it is more than 500 years old. Of course, some things go out of fashion and come back into style later—but it seems that some things are best left in the past.
We happen to think that a hearty “Huzzah!” does constitute a nice greeting, but we can imagine that two days without any matches will probably turn a person into a curmudgeon. Pro-tip for anyone actually stuck in the 1500s: preserve your phone’s battery power. You won’t find any electrical sockets to charge it back up for a while.
Odd One Out
Singles ought to find each other at events or risk finding themselves in a situation like this. Some people are happy to be single, whereas others haven’t found the right person yet. It’s all a matter of personal preference.
To be fair, we can understand why she would want to hop on a dating app after an experience like that one. It can’t have been fun to feel the palpable loneliness as all your pals peel off to play with their partners at the party.
A little enthusiasm after receiving a question is always nice, no matter if it’s genuine or feigned. It just helps to keep an exchange fluid. But after the first question, it took him a whole lot of time to respond. He left her hanging for 1,095 days, in fact.
In that incredible span of time, which could hardly be considered a gap in the dialogue, many things could have transpired that neither would have imagined. One of them could have married in that span—or died—or lost a limb in a tragic accident—anything—It must have been a surprise to receive a reply after all that time.
When scanning the pages of a dictionary, ironic as it may seem to onlookers, the words “lonely, bored, or ostracized” are not words that an introvert readily relates to, at least not when it comes to being away from others. When by themselves, they feel most at ease. In fact, they are utterly in their element that way.
The words “self-sufficiency” might even come to mind. Who knows what inspired her to carry on using this dating app, and who cares? She apparently wasn’t bothered by her date being called off. She has all that she needs in and of herself.
The Scariest Thing
The scariest thing she must have wanted to say here is to continue to live the life she has now. She’s in the shadow of everyone else’s fame and glamor, left out to wallow in her loneliness. But what’s that phrase? Life starts at 40!
While some people are genuinely happier in couples, it’s worth remembering that society puts a lot of pressure on us to form romantic relationships, even though many of us aren’t suited for that kind of life. A group of close friends can be just as good.
Given the Cold Shoulder
Some people are lucky enough to experience mutual affection, but broadly, most people would say that unrequited love is more of the norm and that the ones you’re attracted to usually end up desiring someone else. Rejection is just a fact of life.
Thankfully, being given the cold shoulder doesn’t quite bother this one, and it really shouldn’t. She can laugh it off and put things in the proper perspective. There’s always something better out there, someone who’s appreciative and willing to give fun a try.
Some men know it consciously, but some men just have an unconscious hatred for women. It comes out when she fails to fit his narrow expectations about gender roles. If it weren’t for his rigid views on women, something else would have ruined their evening.
It’s good that we now have these pre-date messaging channels to assess what kind of people we’re engaging with. It’s less messy than an actual confrontation. Just press the delete or block button, and you’ll have a clean slate to start over.
Isn’t the world full of them? It’s safe to say their numbers are increasing, these big talkers. In a world governed by commerce, where one’s economic position measures a person’s success and socio-political standing, the appeal of materialism is ever-growing.
This interested dater couldn’t help but spell out the details of his job, the millions in sales that are supposed to make him seem important sort of make him come across as a bit of a braggart. Kudos to the clever reply by the lady who married his pretentiousness with a sharp wit.
Bazinga! If his name had been Roger, Bob, or Dick, no matter, it is likely that she still would’ve come up with a funny name origin of her own as a comeback message for whatever her name is that sounds like a place from the former USSR.
But it seems she’s too smart for her own good, too intimidating for most weaker-minded men, which might explain her foray into the world of dating apps. It might take time before someone brave enough to deal with her strong personality comes along.
A Full Report
She starts the conversation with a humble icebreaker and gets a full report on the status quo, various markets accounted for, with a little spice at the end. It’s hard to deny that he has a sweet way with words. Perhaps he’s in sales or trades stocks himself.
Like a transistor radio or a television, he only needs a little push on the button to start spinning out quips. Relationships with people like this can work if the other party mostly likes to listen, offering more of a one-way channel agreement or some sort.
She belongs to a breed of women who never daydream of spending a day as a princess, of being followed around by lackeys and entertainers while they roam the stone castle up on a hill, or of being rescued deep in the forest by a knight in shining armor.
But she would gladly discuss how her rewards points could give her the most discount on her grocery purchase, when and where to buy the cheapest plane fare, and so on. She understands that Camelot is a myth—but donuts are delicious.
Isn’t it funny how, of all the possible elements of her beauty or style worthy of praise or aspects of her personality that could spur an exciting introduction, it was an ill-gotten bruise that got the spotlight in the end?
Nevertheless, in a world of dating sites where flattery is a valuable currency, even mistaken compliments are gladly accepted, although more with amusement rather than happiness. So what happens when the bruise is gone? Should she consider getting a real tattoo there instead?
A large number of online dating site and app users are in their late thirties and up, and studies have found that their membership has doubled since 2015. Do we detect a sense of urgency amongst this age group to get hitched soon?
Nevertheless, desperate or not, it is not an excuse to be too forward in your romantic advances. A level of respect still ought to be maintained. Members who come out too fresh and disrespectful like this give the platform a bad reputation.
It’s unbelievable how a person you just met in cyberspace, which you spoke to for less than a few minutes, finds it within their right to unload such prejudices against you. We’re sure that if someone commented on their looks, they wouldn’t practice as much dignity as they demand from their victims.
These men have unfortunately been conditioned to behave with the most poisonous intentions, treating other human beings as though they were simply applicants for the glory of being their partner. These kinds of men are addicted to fear and hatred and have nothing to give when it comes to love, compassion, or happiness. Truly sad.
Appearances Can Be Deceiving
Some people can eat all they want, sit at a buffet table and have a go at it, and never feel the knock-on thickening of their thighs. How blessed they are. But for most of us, watching what we eat and trying to keep those calories balanced is a source of constant tension.
But this chat reveals how our gal maintains her sculpted body without having to put in much effort. She must look like an Amazonian warrior without having to wake up at dawn for cardio exercise, eating without care while maintaining the appearance of an athlete. Life is unfair, isn’t it?
Leading a single life means having a house to yourself, making the rules as you go or not having any at all, living as one sees fit, and having artistic freedom in the art of living. It is so much—up to a point.
At a certain age, we start to long for someone to lean on—a lifetime partner. What happens when other people our age have families of their own, but we’ve been having too much fun on our own to find a good match? The bar is set low. So low, it’s on the floor.
It’s not that everyone wants to remain single. Sometimes it’s barely even a choice, especially when there aren’t that many options in one’s social milieu, and the ones you desire are already committed to someone else. The solution—downloading Bumble.
Imagine waking up to somebody who is not only an intellectual mismatch but doesn’t share your sense of reality. How does one spend a large chunk of time with a person who’s not intellectually stimulating, cannot hold a proper conversation, or refuses to acknowledge the most basic facts about the universe?
Too Many Distractions
What is the purpose of our daily sacrifices if not to learn from experiences and become better people? People nowadays rarely have time for themselves. We are always in a rush, so the bills that keep coming can be paid, and the loans people can be kept at bay.
There is rarely any time for love left. No time for play. Only work and time to prepare for more work. We always seem to be living for tomorrow. No time for drama or emotions, except on sweet Thursdays—at least according to this Bumble user.
Definitely a Keeper
Chivalry isn’t dead—and what a way to witness it! And on the Internet, of all places, where they say it’s only good for finding computer-wrecking viruses and keyboard warriors ready to clip you even for the slightest mistake.
This guy offers to spend the whole day with her for nothing in return. Here’s a great example of the act being the reward in and of itself. It’s a chance to be with her, to get to know her better while she has to play out a dull but necessary task. She’s got a keeper.
She’s Seen It All
As though the universe conspired to bring these two together so they could have the perfect first date, the would-be couple found themselves matched the week before Valentine’s day. Would it be romantic to find yourself across from a first date on that day, or would it all feel too forced?
But somehow, she remains unmoved by the efforts given and granted in their favor. She’s seen it all at her age, she thinks. Nothing surprises her anymore. Not after cats have become celebrities—even her own feline had recently been verified.
Dry as Dust
It’s not always good to respond to a message just to be nice. Sometimes it’s better to just cut off the conversation and be done with it—otherwise, the other person will spend all their time and energy trying to woo you. That’s no good for either of you.
Just how badly does she dislike him? She’d rather take a long walk in the desert without water. She would shrink from dehydration and still shy away from an offer of a cold drink at a bar to avoid breaking the ice—at least, that’s what he might be thinking.
When two people are born for each other, and that’s likely the case we have here, it requires minimal effort for them to hit it off smoothly. They acknowledge it themselves, agree to meet up, and very soon might decide to take their relationship to a new level.
In their initial chats, the chemistry is evident. It’s as natural as the photosynthetic reaction between the plants that surround us and sunlight, carbon dioxide, and water, or the spark between two substances that create the fire in their hearts.
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. And with the Internet, Google, and whatnot, you don’t have to stick your neck out like people used to for pieces of information. A bit of customized questionnaire certainly won’t do much harm, a little profiling, of which a refreshing mojito drink hard by the beach might be a firm favorite.
The interested party probably wants to get a feel if the other is a home buddy type, one they might enjoy spending a night binging on movies, or one who loves nature, is outgoing, and wouldn’t mind getting soused up when the weather is right.
Two Heads Are Better Than One
Failing at something, no matter how poorly, despite making the best attempt at it, should not be a reason to quit when the desire to learn and achieve still burns hot. We all fail at something at some point, but we must come back with a better plan to adapt to the challenge.
Who knows? Two experienced people who’ve failed in one way or another might combine, learn from each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and reach new heights that wouldn’t have been possible individually. They could balance out and compensate for each other’s imperfections.
Handicapped by Affinity
Imagine the awkwardness of bringing a date home, only for your parents to realize that they’re kin to their family and begin asking how they are. To be fair, our laws do not prohibit step-cousins from consummating the contract of marriage if it comes to it.
It’s probably for the best. Romance is about branching out and finding someone new, not creating family gossip for nosy aunts and uncles to tut and fuss over. It’s unfortunate, but no big deal. Hopefully, the two got along well at the next family reunion.
As the digital conversation progresses between online daters, text bubbles fly up onscreen, differentiated by their candy colors and from the sides on which they pop up. But, not everyone gets the color-coded signals. This relationship doesn’t look like it’s about to gather steam soon.
The excitement one has for the other individual is not reciprocated. In fact, it is like a cat’s enthusiasm when it looks down on a pond and sees its image for the first time. It mewls at the water surface and realizes after a while that it has been communicating with its own reflection and leaves, saddened.
Take a Rain Check
After roaming the earth for half a century and having seen much in life that affords one to say, “I’ve been there and done that,” way, way past the age of innocence, our middle-aged peers have come to populate much of the dating app scene.
You can tell how they shy away from large crowds and, by the same token, learn to tone down their once-upon-a-time party-hard lifestyle. So instead, she takes a rain check to go on a date at a time and place.